This reflective post dives into the side of wedding DJ life most couples never see—the hours of conversations, follow-ups, and hopeful planning that don’t always lead to a booking. In true Mostov fashion, it’s equal parts candid, gracious, and encouraging, offering a behind-the-scenes look at rejection, professionalism, and staying focused on the couples who do choose you. It’s a reminder that the best DJs succeed not through pressure or desperation, but through integrity, patience, and passion for their craft.
January 5, 2025
When your wedding guests look to your DJ it’s usually in the moment of glory—nobody else is controlling the music, so all attention is on the DJ—personally, I'd prefer all atttention be on the music—but let’s be honest, the DJ is in the spotlight up there. It is ironic, really, because I never try to claim the spotlight. Far from it.
Every wedding and party package I offer includes full master of ceremony responsibilities. I emcee the entire event, make all necessary and requested announcements, and guarantee things happen how you want them and when you want them according to your itinerary. But far from wanting the spotlight on me, I always keep my focus on my couples. As the emcee, I engage the crowd by being upbeat and enthusiastic with my announcements, but your guests are NOT there to see me. Most everyone can recall a horrible DJ that talked too much and wasn’t funny or warm and welcoming with their guests. You do not hire me to be a comedian. I don't have a comedy schtick or a routine. I am NOT there to insert my own identity, but to make the event all about you and your guests’ celebration. I never allow myself to become the center of attention. The same is true when playing your music. My only goal is to make the celebration as inclusive and as immersive as I possibly can. I read the room, I play requests, and I fill the dance floor. That's why you hire me. If you are looking for a DJ who interacts with your guests by doing the chicken dance on top of a speaker, you are out of luck. I am not that DJ, though I can refer you to DJs who are. Still, most attendees pay close attention, and all eyes are on me.
So, yes, I end up in the spotlight. But today, I am in a pensive mood, and I can't help but think about the many rejections it takes before I get the gig and take my place behind the DJ booth. I think about the many rejections it takes before there I am, all eyes on me and in that position at the front of the room. It’s certainly not something those on the dance floor think about when looking at me up there doing my thing, but to secure a gig takes some work, and like any job, I deal with many more rejections than bookings.
When potential clients reach out to wedding vendors in the early stages of their planning, it really is necessary to have thick skin. In this business, I often spend hours following up on leads, having long conversations with them, and answering their questions, and more often or not, the time I invest does not work out. I get it. There is a very large field of competition, and while my personality mostly clicks with the couples I talk to, I can't win them all. I have heard that some DJs lash out when the leads they have invested time pursuing do not sign a contract in the end. These are the same DJs who are pushy, who bully potential clients, unnecessarily upselling extras that couples do not want (or worse, cannot afford) and rushing them for a quick sale. So many of my couples tell me that the DJs they spoke with before finding me made them feel uncomfortable, unappreciated, and undervalued. No wonder wedding DJs are so often mistrusted by the clientele. But I am not one of those DJs. When I don't get the gig, I am always gracious, and I always thank the clients for their inquiries. Then, I sit on it. I don't gripe, and I never burn bridges. I know my worth, and I am an excellent DJ. Every wedding season, my dates do fill up in a hurry. In time, I know I will be booked every Saturday from April through October. Still, rejection is never fun.
There really are a lot of factors involved with the booking process, and there are hundreds of DJs with whom I am competing to seal the deal. It is important to remember that no matter how much work I may have put into finding an event, it is also possible to put in too much effort. I will follow up on open-ended conversations, but I will never blow up a potential client's inbox or assault their texts or voicemails with neverending messages. DJs who do this confuse me. If I were a couple looking to hire a DJ and a vendor did this to me, I would think he or she was incredibly desperate. Which begs the question: why the desperation? Something must surely be amiss. I suppose it is also possible that some DJs, especially those new to the business, have unrealistic expectations. The truth is the couples who reach out are not only pricing, they are judging the worth of every vendor they meet. And, in the end, no matter how well the conversation may have gone, the couple still doesn’t owe you a thing. Admittedly, sometimes it can feel that they do, though. It is at these times, that a wedding DJ must simply put it aside because negative energy is never helpful. And who knows? Maybe they’ll come back to you, and maybe it’ll work out; it has happened many times in the 28 years that I have been at this. But when facing rejection, I find that positive energy is best put towards pursuing other opportunities. I would much rather maintain focus on the couples who have hired me. When a couple places their faith and trust in me on what is the most important day of their lives, they deserve me at my very best. And I make sure I give it to them.
Yes, rejection sucks, but every day, a regular job accepts hundreds of resumes for one position. Should it be surprising that the same is true for a wedding reception? I guess this blog entry is really for other DJs new to the business. That's not where I thought this entry would go, but here we are. So on the bright side, remember this: it’s not that much fun to be rejected in the regular job market for a just-above minimum wage job you don’t really want anyway, and that process is longer and more tedious. At least DJs don’t have to fill out an application every time we apply to DJ a wedding, right?
All we have to do is put our hearts and souls on the line and be ready for a little rejection Maybe I'm not the right fit for their vision and expectations. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Maybe they don't like my style or my personality, maybe they don't like my price. Maybe they won't even listen to what I have to say. Maybe they’d rather hire a local who’s not as good but cheaper and has more contacts in the area – that’s their call. I just try to make myself as attractive as possible.
My best advice is to do good research, set realistic goals for who you think will be interested in your services, and be tactful and efficient in communication. And most importantly, be patient! Good things are worth waiting for, and the couples I DJ for are the very best. There is nothing I will not do to guarantee they have the perfect wedding day.
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