The First Dance shouldn’t feel like a four-minute spotlight nightmare. In this post, I break down how couples—shy, bold, or somewhere in between—can turn this moment from nerve-wracking to meaningful. From choosing the right song to timing, flow, guest involvement, photography considerations, and DJ-guided tricks that ease the pressure, this guide shows how your First Dance can feel authentically you without the anxiety.
November 15, 2024
In a day of nonstop formalities, the First Dance is arguably the most important (and most feared) moment of your reception. I know from experience that some couples dread the thought of having the watchful eyes of their friends and family focused on them for the longest four minutes of their lives.
I've got good news for introverts everywhere: it doesn’t need to be this way. With some forethought and discussion this can be overcome quite easily — and this is coming from a guy with two left feet.
If you are stressing about your First Dance, I strongly suggest discussing your concerns with your DJ.
Through the years, I have DJed for shy couples as well as those who enjoy the limelight. Having this experience means I can offer suggestions based on similar couples from the past and, hopefully, provide a solution that ensures peace of mind.
The song choice should ideally be a song that means something to you. Don’t worry about selecting a track that nobody else has heard before; all that matters is that the song you choose means something to the two of you. If you are having difficulty picking between several selections, I suggest practicing your first dance to all of them to find the tempo that works best for the two of you. Once you have chosen the perfect song to meet your wedding day vision and expectations, then we can discuss when you will dance and for how long.
You can begin your First Dance immediately following your entrance; we can fade out a song early if you wish; or we can invite other couples onto the dance floor after a minute or two so you can continue to enjoy your first dance without being the focus of attention. We can also combine your First Dance with the Anniversary Dance; you are the first couple eliminated from the dance floor, after all. And let's not forget that no two weddings are ever the same. Your wedding should be uniquely YOU. An uptempo song works just a well. There are no hard rules; there is only what makes you feel most comfortable.
It is also important to consider the role of your photographer and videographer. If either is leaving early, I suggest at least 90 seconds of dancing to ensure he or she can get the perfect shot. I coordinate with both throughout the evening; together, we discuss the time scale, lighting, and position of both you and your guests. And if no photographer or videographer is booked, the first dance can be as long (or as short) as you like.
I also find that a solid introduction can work wonders as well. Three to five minutes prior, I like to announce that the first dance will take place shortly. This allows everyone to return to the room to take their positions. If you’re having a summer wedding I often encourage a groomsman or bridesmaid to go outside to round everyone up. And when it is time to begin, I enthusiastically announce the first dance to encourage applause and cheers. This typically helps to give the shyest of brides and grooms a much-needed shot of confidence as well.
These are just a few of the tips and tricks that I can use to make your First Dance as memorable (and as painless) as possible; there are many more. You hire your DJ to play music, but more than that, you hire your DJ to accommodate your individual needs. That is what I promise to do.