Tricks and Tips for Your Dance Floor

A wedding is the most challenging type of event to DJ properly because you need to know a LOT of music. Whether you are in your own backyard or a faraway destination, it is not uncommon for people from different cultures and backgrounds to come together to celebrate a wedding. How do you please everybody? What songs do you choose? 

Many DJs rely on lists of “Most Requested Wedding Songs”—they are everywhere online—which is why you may have been to several weddings and heard the same songs again and again. In fairness, the songs on these lists are classics that have largely stood the test of time. Leaning heavily on these lists will create a passable event, but not necessarily a personal event. All weddings are not the same. And the guests in attendance will be different ages, with diverse backgrounds who prefer a variety of genres. And then, there are the two of you. The musical tastes of one bride and groom may be very different from the next. As your  DJ, you are my priority. Your requests will be played, but I know that you want your guests to enjoy the party, too.  All of these factors can make your wedding playlist a demanding task. 

For some couples, music really isn’t that important. But if it is important to the two of you, I want to share some tips to help you select your "must plays" for your reception. I also want to share some of the tricks I use to make song selection a little less difficult. Hopefully, this page will help you to better understand your wedding dance floor. It should also help you to better recognize how your wedding is unique from all others. You have chosen a DJ that treats it that way; you should, too.  So together, let's work to make your playlist every bit as special as the people  who will dance to it. 

"How much music should I choose, and how much should I let you choose?" 

Couples ask me this question all of the time. The answer is entirely up to you. But remember that I am a professional, and I know how to set the mood you desire. In our meetings and conversations, we will talk at length about your music tastes and preferences. And the planner you fill out for me also helps me to know what you like and dislike. I spend weeks preparing the music for each wedding I DJ so I can play music accordingly.  I absolutely encourage you to choose songs for the bridal party entrance, the cake cutting, all special dances, the bouquet toss, the garter removal, and the last dance. These special moments will be some of your very best memories for years to come, and the songs you choose should hold special meaning for you.  But when it comes to the dancing portion of your reception, I generally recommend selecting 15 to 20 "must play" songs, and listing all "do not play" songs that you know will hinder your enthusiasm. I strongly discourage you from creating the entire playlist.  Always leave me a good bit of "wiggle room". This is the best formula I have found for a perfect party. 

On average, you can fit 15 - 20 songs per hour. Often, a couple's itinerary allows three hours of dancing, but they will give me four or five hours of "must play" requests. Additionally, many of these couples tell me to take requests! It is always important to prioritize your song selections. Be aware of the time allowance to avoid disappointment when song selections will not fit. 

With that in mind, here are your options for providing me with your preferred playlists:

• Do nothing, allowing me to choose all the music. This is fine if I have earned your trust and you know you will like my selections, or if you do not have the time to choose music. I DJ events every week and can quickly determine the kind of music that you and your guests will enjoy. Additionally, I bring a wide variety of all styles of popular music so that I can adjust to your preferences and those of your guests accordingly.

• Choose several songs/artists and identify a list of “Do Not Play” songs and/or artists. This is generally what most clients choose to do. This gives me a clear indication of some of the music that is important to you, while allowing me to take guest requests and play songs that I know from experience will please your guests. 

• Provide a list of music choices for me, requiring that only songs on that list be played, forbidding all requests. This option ensures that you will not hear a song at your event that you have not approved, but it is very restrictive and eliminates guest requests as an option for me. It also prevents me from reading the room and choosing songs that will heighten the fun and bring more guests to the dance floor. A better option is to require that only songs on your list be played unless I get your approval at the reception. But if you want complete control of the music, you've got it.

• Create the list of music you want played, in the order you want it played, and require me stick to it. This is not recommended. Making such a list requires a great deal of time and effort on your part. Additionally, it cannot account for or allow flexibility for what may be happening at your event at any given moment. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes we need to improvise.  Micro-managing the entirety of your playlist at your reception tends to take away much of your enjoyment of the party and can make for a long night for everybody. It is always best to give me some freedom and flexibility to guarantee that everybody enjoys the party. 

Tips for the Couple

Not all music is danceable.

The first thing every couple must do is decide what it is they want their music to do. At most weddings, the purpose of the music is to lure your guests to the dance floor, then give them every reason to stay there. Not all music is danceable.  Over the twenty-plus years that I have DJed, I have received countless playlists that were not dance floor-friendly. I once received a couple's playlist that featured the collected works of The Smiths. Another couple requested more than 30 songs from Disney animated films. Still another jam packed their playlist with death metal. Some couples do not dance, and they do not concern themselves with the dance floor for this reason. If background music is your preference, I will happily oblige. I will always provide you with the music you want to hear. It is YOUR day. But be very aware that most wedding guests arrive ready to party. Cocktail hour and dinner are the preferred times to showcase your favorite bands and artists. Once the dance floor opens, you should strongly consider utilizing it for the entertainment of your guests. That is why you have hired a DJ. If you do not plan to dance, plugging  your Spotify playlist into a pair of speakers would have cost you a lot less money. 

There is comfort in knowing the music that is played.

Sometimes my couples select music even I do not know. It is rare, but it happens. The primary concern of these couples is to demonstrate their eclectic or eccentric tastes in music. While I will certainly help them to accomplish that goal, I try my best to discourage them. I warn them not to be shocked if most of their guests do not recognize the music and, therefore, choose not to dance. Again, I make no judgments, but most people tend to dance only when they feel comfortable. There is comfort in knowing the music that is played.  You must ask yourselves how important it is to you that your guests dance. If it is not a primary concern, that is absolutely fine. But keep in mind that if guests are not dancing, they are more likely to leave early. You paid a lot of money to secure your venue until late in the evening. If your guests should leave early and the party comes to an abrupt end, that is money you will not get back. 

Guilty Pleasures Transcend Generations.

Again, this is YOUR day, and you should have complete playlist control. But wedding DJs have a responsibility to bring all guests to the dance floor, and it is much easier when I have your help. When you share your song selections with me, it is always best to choose songs that span the ages. The best songs to make this happen are what music fans call "Guilty Pleasures." Guilty Pleasures transcend generations. Realistically, no song can please everyone, but you should make it a point to include as many classics as possible. For example, you will never go wrong playing “Sweet Caroline,” or “My Girl,” "Brick House" or “Shout.” "YMCA" and "The Electric Slide" may make you cringe, but they will make others stand up and dance with abandon. The best wedding playlists always feature songs that are overplayed. These songs may be clichés, but they’re effective, and they bring wedding guests of all ages together. That is the DJ’s job: to bring people together through the power of music. 

Many wedding guests are only comfortable dancing to line dances.

Some couples are not fans of line dances and ask me not to play them at their receptions.  If you choose not to include them, then I will absolutely respect your wishes. But please know that line dances will always fill your dance floor.  Many wedding guests are only comfortable dancing  to line dances. Guests who are self-conscious about their dancing ability enjoy line dances for two reasons: first, line dances give instructions, telling dancers what to do; and second, everyone on the dance floor moves in the exact same way. Guests who believe they are not good dancers often feel embarrassed or insecure if they know others are watching them.  But  guests do not feel embarrassed when line dancing because they know they are not being judged for their dance moves.  When line dancing, even the worst dancers are just as good (or just as bad) as everyone else around them. Line dances are comfortable because they are uniform.

Include a song suggestion card with each wedding invitation.

Couples always ask if I take guest requests. As with all things, that is entirely up to you. I am more than happy to field requests if you tell me they are allowed. Whether I play them or not is a different story. Guest requests can work really well, or not at all. I will always use discretion when taking requests, so you never have to worry. I work very closely with you in the lead up to your wedding. I use my reception planner to help capture your music tastes so that you and I both feel confident about the music played at your reception. If a guest makes a request during the dance portion of your evening that conflicts with your preferences, I won’t play it. It's that simple. And if the request is questionable, I will first get your approval before adding it to the mix. If I am unable to play a guest's request because it either doesn’t align with your preferences or isn’t appropriate for the mood at the moment, I will usually ask if there is anything else he or she would like to hear. To be honest, guest requests are really helpful sometimes. There may be a song that has sentimental value to a large group of guests that will bring more people to the dance floor – I am all for that!  But the best way I know for your guests to share in the planning is to ask for their suggestions early.  Include a song suggestion card with each wedding invitation.  This will give your guests time to put real thought into the song title(s) they give you. When they are ready, have them include the suggestion card with their RSVP and mail it back to you. What I then suggest is for the two of you to look through their suggestions. Any songs you know will be in conflict with your music tastes and preferences should be set aside. Do not share titles with me that you know you do not want to hear. Also – and this is important – do not include these songs in your list of "must plays". Place your guests' song suggestions in a separate list. This lets me know they did not come from you. Remember that you are my priority. If time becomes an issue, I want all of your favorites played; your guests' suggestions are secondary.

Your older guests are waiting to slow dance.

Wedding receptions are not the club downtown, and friends in their early 20s are not your only guests who enjoy dancing. Musical performances that stay at one speed eventually lose the crowd. It is strongly advised that you provide me with the titles of slow songs to be played throughout the set. Slow songs set a mood, provide ambiance, and offer natural breaks throughout the night. No one wants to fist pump the whole night. As Otis Redding crooned, “try a little tenderness.” Emoting some tenderness into the party isn’t the only effect slow songs create. They also give natural breaks for people to recover their dancing juju. As a natural break in the set, slow songs give your guests space to converse, grab another drink, or take a break from the dance floor. Plus, your older guests are waiting to slow dance. Let them.

Tricks of the DJ

I believe the best receptions unfold seamlessly, with one chapter of the evening effortlessly flowing into the next. The ways in which your guests enjoy your wedding evolves over the evening, and it takes a DJ with unique experience and intuition to be able to “read the room.” In other words, you want someone who will create a perfectly balanced soundtrack, all the way from quiet cocktails to a raging finale.  From years of experience, I have learned many tricks to bring guests to the dance floor. Here are some of them.

I open the dance floor with a slow song.

From the bridal party introductions through dinner and into your special dances, your guests have been sitting for a very long time. Married couples are finally invited to dance if we include an Anniversary Dance, and your singles get to stand up and stretch before catching the bouquet and garter. But it is not until we open the dance floor that everyone gets the chance to be a part of the party. Many DJs open the dancing portion of your reception with a popular upbeat song. I open the dance floor with a slow song.  More guests will make their way to the dance floor to dance with a partner than will dance alone. One slow song, and then the celebration will pick up speed.

Lighting is critical.

Some purists would have you believe that musical performances are all about the music. They argue that you shouldn’t need lighting to create an immersive experience. Wedding receptions, however, should not only engage the ears of the audience. They should also be visually stimulating. Lighting is critical. When the dance floor opens, the lights turn on. I take time to examine the lighting conditions and work with the venue to dim the house lights. I then position lighting to create an environment that best suits your guests. If it’s a big crowd, I might be able to get away with crazier lighting, but If it’s a smaller, more intimate reception, I include warm lighting to set a more inclusive mood. It increases the likelihood that your dance floor will remain full for longer.

I study the people who aren't dancing.  

I do not focus my attention on your guests who are dancing. If they are dancing, I have already won them over. The true test of any wedding DJ is getting the wallflowers to dance. I study the people who aren't dancing. This allows me to pick up on cues that suggest what artists, tempos, and genres are likely to bring them to the floor. It is easy to spot clues into what they might like if you know what to look for.  A head bob here, a slight movement of the hips there, hands and arms swinging to the beat of the music. All of these provide hints that let me know their musical interests.  

I have an ear for music.

Your guests may not understand the art of transitions, but they are incredibly important when mixing your favorite songs in a reception setlist. I employ a combination of beat counting, phrasing, and cross-fading to make sure that every song is enjoyed to its fullest.  

Many wedding and event DJs simply add songs to their queue and let their DJ software mix from one track into the next. This sort of "cruise control" for wedding DJing is similar to radio airplay. It works well with oldies, but not much else. Most automix software blends from one song to the next at seemingly random times and for long transitions, making  the transition uncomfortable and sounding  just wrong.  When the software is left to decide, your guests do not get full enjoyment from the music. Many songs have iconic starts (think of Shania's "Man! I Feel Like a Woman," Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise," or Ozzy's "Crazy Train") or iconic endings (think of the Beatles' "Twist and Shout," Kenny Loggins's "Footloose," or Prince's "Let's Go Crazy").  When guests do not get to hear these songs in their entirety, they may be disappointed.

Iconic starts are important in bringing guests to the dance floor. Automix denies you the opportunity to drop a tune in from a recognizable beginning that makes the crowd get up from their chairs and rush to the dance floor.  Remember, being a wedding DJ means playing well loved and well known songs, so you want to make sure those partying in front of you know what song you’ve started playing so they  get to the dance floor in a hurry if they’re not there already. Automix stifles any sense of urgency, and if guests do get up from their seats and come to the dance floor, they come slowly and late into the song. Similarly, a wedding DJ needs to determine where to transition out of a song. It often sounds jarring if you allow the software to do this on its own, and you risk the iconic ends of songs being "cut off" entirely. For example, when guests are singing along to the chorus, you don’t want to allow the software to cut the vocals off prematurely. It’s very subtle, but if you are hearing it all night, it definitely disrupts the flow of the music. This is why it is important for the DJ to count beats and understand phrasing when cross fading between the songs in his or her mix. 

I have an ear for music. This allows me to align tempos for two successive songs (a rudimentary DJ trick) but also to play songs in complimentary musical key signatures. It is not important that you or your guests be versed in music theory; any music fan can instinctively tell when a piece of music is dissonant. Dissonance over time will lose numbers on the dance floor. My transitions will keep them there.

I accept requests sparingly. 

I am always open to requests, but I also need to be selective. I accept requests sparingly. I treat your guests as an extension of myself. What I mean by this is, if guests can request a song that enhances the mood, or rather, doesn’t detract from it, I will add the request to my mix.  But most of the time, the song just isn't an appropriate inclusion at the time it is requested. Guests almost always ask that their request be played "next". The answer to that question is almost always a "no." Their request may be an incredible choice, but rarely will it flow neatly out of and into the songs on either side of it. To play it would be jarring, and any musical segue that is not pleasing to the ear results in a number of guests leaving the dance floor. If the requested song is not a good fit for the moment, I make a note to myself and if possible, I will play it at a later point in the evening.  I will not allow any request to kill the momentum of your dance floor.  As a rule of thumb, the best way to decline song requests is to refer them to the bride for approval.  Even if I am sure you will say yes, it buys me time to configure its placement in the set. The one caveat to this rule is if one of you requests a song – it’s YOUR night, and I do whatever I can to make it more memorable for the two of you.  Your requests get played as soon as possible every time, guaranteed.

Two-hour dance sets are the minimum. 

Two-hour dance sets are the minimum. Anything less than two hours for a wedding reception starts to get cramped.  Pacing sets at two hours is a challenge, but I do it very well.  A skilled DJ always allows time for people to loosen up, and ending within the two-hour range doesn’t give the set time to breathe.  Every set should begin with a natural build up and end with a gradual release. It allows for the inclusion of slow dances each hour and gives your most active guests a natural break from the heavy cardio workout. Sometimes, it just isn't possible to allow two hours for a set. If I know there is less than two hours available, I end the set with a longer break of slow dances to keep guests dancing to the end of the reception.

I announce the last song.

An easy way to upset your guests is by playing the last song without notifying anyone. People want to know when they can get their last dance in. After all, it’s not every day that you get to attend a wedding for the people you care about most. Announcing the last song is a simple act of courtesy all DJs should do without even thinking.  It also eliminates calls for "One Last Song!" 

Let Me Help You Fill Your Dance Floor. 

When it comes to DJing weddings, my years of experience and my dedication to your vision ensure your wedding will be the most memorable night of your life. I promise a truly unique experience – one that is personalized to your preferences. Your dance floor plays a huge role in this, and I will work closely with you in the lead up to your reception to guarantee you and your guests will party like never before.