Embedded Files
To Garter or Not to Garter. Is That Your Question?
To Garter or Not to Garter. Is That Your Question?
The garter toss is one of the strangest, oldest, and most misunderstood wedding traditions—and its history is way more bizarre than you think. In this post, I dig into the surprisingly dark origins of the ritual, why many modern couples skip it entirely, and what fun alternatives you can try if you want to honor tradition without reenacting medieval chaos.
February 26, 2025
Most wedding traditions are kitschy but cute: something borrowed, something blue; unveiling the bride; clinking the glasses to force a kiss; cutting the cake; tossing the bouquet. But what about removing the bride's garter? How did this become a thing? If you’ve ever wondered why guests watch as the groom uses his teeth to remove a lacy band from his new wife’s upper thigh before tossing it—it is actually a very symbolic practice. Wedding etiquette is pretty straightforward for the most part, but the wedding garter tradition has quite the unique history. Here, I will share its origins, its symbolism, its significance, and why many brides today forgo the tradition.
Technically, the purpose of the garter was originally to hold up the bride’s stockings, though since the invention of garter belt clips, elastic, and pantyhose, they’re no longer necessary. Today, they’re more for tradition than anything else. They can go on either leg, but many brides choose to wear one on each leg—one to toss, and one to keep.
These days, removing the garter is essentially the male equivalent of the bride’s bouquet toss. After the ceremony, generally at the reception, the bride sits on a chair so her new husband can go under her gown and take the garter off her leg before tossing it to a crowd of eligible bachelors. By tradition, the garter symbolizes good luck for the bachelors in attendance; supposedly, whoever is lucky enough to catch it will be the next to get married. Of course, this is a tradition that’s more symbolic and fun than realistic. In practice, it’s a raunchy charade for a group of men to chase after the garter once it’s tossed by the groom.
Weddings in many cultures have long involved the transfer of luck or fortune, usually in the form of dowries. Typically, a dowry was a payment of money, goods, or property given by the bride's family to the groom's family, or the groom himself, at the time of marriage. While the exact purpose can vary, dowries often serve as a way for the bride's family to provide the couple with resources for their future life together, or as a symbolic exchange acknowledging the value of the bride. In some historical contexts, they were seen as a way for wealthy families to secure advantageous marriages for their daughters. But the transfer of luck or fortune extended beyond gifts of money, property, jewelry, and livestock to the groom and his family. Guests in attendance were also given party favors, and this is where the history of the garter gets a bit disturbing.
In Ye Olden European wedding traditions, obtaining a trinket from the bride was always thought to be a harbinger of luck in love and future nuptials. After the couple exchanged vows, the attendees would sometimes rush up to the bride, ripping sections of her wedding finery off of her in order to obtain some of her wedding providence. As pieces of the bride’s clothing were considered good fortune, guests would snatch at the bride’s clothing in order to grab hold of said good luck plus some souvenir lingerie. It soon came to pass that the bride, in order to protect herself and her fashion choices, would then sometimes throw favors to the crowd—scarves, gloves, tokens, ribbons, or garters—to avoid arriving at her reception naked. Yes, you read that correctly. Nothing like the public ripping of a bride's hand-sewn gown to start out a life together! Ah, the romance of marriage!
Of course, traditions do evolve, and in the early 14th century, a French tradition called ‘Fingering the Garter’ began. A bride's virginity and the couple's consummation of their marriage was very important (this is quite an understatement). Post-wedding ceremony but before the reception, couples would retire to the wedding chamber to consummate their marriage in order to make it all legally binding and to ascertain that the bride was untouched by any man before her new husband. By proving her virginity before marriage, it guaranteed that all offspring were genetically linked to the groom and his inheritance. Guests were therefore invited up to the room to see the groom’s deflowering handiwork, usually in the form of showing off the bed linens with their telltale post-virgin blood stain or by inspecting the bride after intercourse, placing their hands on her upper thigh near the garter (hence, the name). Often, the first to "inspect" the bride would claim the bride’s garter as a symbol of said consummation. This, of course, was a leftover from the tradition of the bride's clothing removal from earlier times. But wait, it gets even more cringe. In English traditions, guests would sneak into the marriage chamber to then attempt to throw discarded lingerie and stockings on the couple as they were having intercourse. Whoever hit the noses of the couple with a stocking was believed to be the next to marry. (I am not making this up.)
Let's just pause here for a moment to let all you process this. Very disturbing, wouldn't you agree?
To protect the brides from the groping crowds, It eventually came to pass that grooms began throwing the garter to the mobs in order to keep them at a distance from their new brides. Lo, the garter toss was born.
The garter toss has also evolved over time, some grooms throwing to a sedately assembled crowd, some to overly enthusiastic competing forces, and some even taking the garter on a whirlwind ride by horseback or foot race. And now trending, we have the FOOTBALL GARTER TOSS where the menfolk toss a football into the crowd of eligible bachelors with the garter attached, symbolizing their innate manliness whilst handling the lady’s lacy elastic band with a bit of manly oomph.
Today, some brides choose not to have a garter removal at their weddings for a variety of reasons. Some brides are uncomfortable and embarrassed by their grooms diving under their gowns in front of family and friends, some brides feel the occasion is too gendered or antiquated, some feel awkward calling out the single people in the crowd, and others simply do not like the aesthetic or style of a garter. And then, of course, there are those brides who have learned the history of the garter removal and are understandably repulsed by its origins.
It is not only brides who object to the garter removal. Some grooms see it as objectifying their brides and choose not to do it as well. And then, there are those couples who want to set their own traditions for their celebrations. If any of these apply to you, then, by all means, skip it!
Still, other brides remain fans of the practice.
Today, the garter toss ritual is meant to be cheeky fun among the couple and their guests, often taking place during a rowdier part of the evening. It is the one moment during their receptions when couples are given a "free pass" to be a bit risqué and to have some adult fun. And the garter removal can certainly bring the laughs. Some grooms choose a song like "Pony" by Ginuwine or "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye and proceed to give their wives a lap dance. Some incorporate props such as magnifying glasses, car jacks, flashlights, goggles, or forceps. Some hide XXXL "granny panties" in their pockets, then come out from under the gown displaying them with a confused look on their faces. I have even seen bride and groom perform skits during the garter removal, playing a song like "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" by the Georgia Satellites as the bride playfully swats her groom's hands away as he attempts to take off the garter. For couples who are more comfortable and daring, the garter removal can be a lot of fun!
As with everything else wedding-related, choosing whether or not to include the garter removal comes down to personal preference. Most brides wear a garter even if they do not intend to have it removed. Those who do typically choose to uphold the tradition as a meaningful part of their celebration, an accessory for wedding photos, a chic heirloom to keep for future generations, or a sexy addition to the wedding night. Some brides wear their wedding garter as an all-day tradition; others take it on and off for different parts of the celebration. The two best times to wear the garter are for your “getting ready” or “bridal boudoir” photoshoot before the ceremony, and then later in the reception if you want to host the garter toss. In between those times, some brides opt to keep the garter in their bag or pocket for safekeeping.
Thankfully, the wedding garter is still a symbol of love and luck for your wedding guests—not so much a symbol of losing your virginity or having to be “inspected” by prying friends and family. These days, the modern meaning is much more about fashion, fun, sensuality, and, of course, tradition! It has become a fun, lighthearted way to show off the couple’s chemistry and interact with their guests. The wedding garter can also be symbolic of family ties and traditions, as they are often made with heirloom materials and passed down as part of a keepsake wedding dress. But there is no reason to wear a wedding garter if you don’t want to. Whether it’s not your style, you don’t feel comfortable with it, or you prefer to set new traditions for your celebration, you can totally pass on the wedding garter tradition with no one (absolutely no one!) to stop you.
Looking for alternatives to the garter removal? Here are some ideas:
Toss a garter without the “undressing” ritual. (just keep the garter in your pocket.)
Have the groom wear the garter; the bride can remove it from his leg.
Just go with the bouquet toss, no garter necessary.
Have a bouquet toss with all genders—no separation of men and women.
Toss the groom’s boutonniere along with the bouquet, no garter needed.
Break up your bouquet and give stems to important guests in the crowd.
Host an anniversary dance with all the married couples and give the bouqet to the winning couple.
Play a song for the singles to invite all the eligible guests on the dancefloor.
Invite all animal lovers to the dance floor and toss teddy bears.
Toss a prize, like a gift card to your favorite restaurant.
Make custom T-shirts for your wedding and toss them to the crowd. (You can even use a T-shirt canon.)
Hell, at one wedding I DJed pre-COVID, they even switched the bride out with a groomsman. The groom was blindfolded and had no idea, but the groomsman knew ahead of time and shaved his legs. It was quite entertaining.
Thus, my complete wedding garter tradition rundown comes to an end. It’s totally up to you and yours to decide if this long-held tradition is right for your celebration. You can use the bridal garter for photos only, change up the details, replace with another tradition, or skip it entirely—your decision. The most important thing is to have fun and make a special moment with your sweetheart.
As a final note, I am taking the month of March off from blogging. Mostov's Musings will return in April! Until then, happy planning and best wishes!
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse